


To carry their weight

by FlyingDutchy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Mount Weather, no betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 12:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12059301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingDutchy/pseuds/FlyingDutchy
Summary: The battle for Mount Weather was gruesome, but Clarke and Lexa managed to win. Tensions rise again when the Sky People hear what Lexa has in store for the surviving people of Mount Weather.





	To carry their weight

The concrete halls were stained with dark red blood, the lights flickered, showing the carnage only briefly to those that survived it before casting the room in darkness again. Clarke carefully stepped over a body, she couldn’t recognize whether he was a grounder, an arker, or a mountain man, because in the brief second that she could see him, she only saw that half his body was missing.

At the end of the hallway, she saw Bellamy and Octavia in an embrace, finally reunited after the horrors they both witnessed and participated in. They were the lucky ones, Clarke supposed. Having just come from the infirmary she knew that many of her friends and allies would not live through the day. Warriors with swords, bows and spears versus soldiers with automatic rifles in tight hallways, was never a fair fight that they could win without incurring massive casualties.

She heard someone groan as she stepped over another, what she thought had been, body. She knelt down and assessed the wounded man. He wore the Mount Weather security detail outfit that brought out so much of her hatred. In his eyes, glazed over as they were, she saw fear and despair.

Instinctually, she checked the man for injuries and she found them clearly visible. Two arrows were stuck in his body, one in his side and another in his left thigh, but the most threatening one was a large gash across his collar just below the neck. Methodologically, she applied pressure to the wound. Even though he was her enemy, her doctor’s training had taught her that after a battle both wounded friends and wounded foes are equal.

“Sssh,” she shushed him when he gurgled in protest. She read his name on the name tag stitched on his uniform. “It’ll be okay, Alvez.”

Hearing his name seemed to relax the man and she continued applying pressure. Maybe saving a live could, in some way, wash the blood from her hands. Both figuratively and literally. Clarke heard irregular footsteps approach, they echoed through the otherwise silent hallways. She expected them to hurry past her, because this hallway contained nothing but the dead. Instead, they stopped, and right as she was still applying pressure to the wound, she heard the sickening sound of metal tearing to flesh, followed by Alvez releasing his last breath.

“What the hell are you doing?” Clarke turned around and she met wide green eyes which seemed surprised at her reaction. “The battle was over and he was no longer a threat.”

The Commander took a step backwards, increasing the separation between them from a hand to an arm’s length. She cleaned the sword from blood until it once more reflected the bright flashes of light, and sheathed it on her side. “I stopped his needless suffering, which you seemed to want to prolong until tomorrow.”

The brunette was hardly recognizable as such anymore. Her hair and skin was caked in a layer of dark red blood, the white and green of her eyes stood in stark contrast against the color of both love and death. Clarke saw the exhaustion in them. The Commander leant on a large wooden staff, and carefully avoided putting pressure on one of her legs.

“What happened?” Clarke implored the wounded warrior.

Lexa grimaced as she followed her gaze down to her own leg. “A cornered animal is most deadly, especially against a tired predator. A _maunon_ plunged a large knife in my leg.”

Clarke saw the dark black patch beneath a tear in the Commander’s pants. She knelt down and looked closely, there she saw a large gash and the black patch was sticky, not unlike blood. A hand was pressed down on her shoulder and she looked up at narrowed green eyes. “You shouldn’t kneel before me, _Klark._ ”

She took Lexa’s free hand and was helped back onto her feet. “I’ll escort you back to the infirmary, back to your friends.”

She looked away from the concerned green eyes. “I’m here because I couldn’t be there.”

The Commander shook her head determined to change Clarke’s course. “It is better to surround yourself with the living than with the death.”

If it were any other situation, Clarke would have wanted to make a comment on the never ending idioms that Lexa seemed to conjure. Though the blonde had to admit that they were handy lessons in world as harsh as this one. Still, she did not follow the expectant warrior, who had come all this way just to find her, and not to get a well deserved rest after the night long battle.

“I’ve lost so many. The twelve kids…”

“You saved thirty.” Lexa’s voice was uncompromising. “You’ve saved thirty that would have otherwise died. The price was high, but it was worth it.”

Images flashed through the blonde’s mind.When Lexa and her opened the doors leading to the horrific scene, blood spilled into the hallway and drenched through their shoes. Nothing could have prepared them for the horrific sight. She saw the metal cages, the grey metal bars keeping the prisoners in were no longer needed. All grounder prisoners had been executed. She had seen Lexa clench her hand and breathe heavily while she counted. “One-seventeen.”

Clarke counted the losses that Lexa had suffered in the war against the Mountain these past weeks. Over two-hundred in Tondc, once again that number in the battle last night, and the hundred and seventeen prisoners that had been executed. Clarke felt terrible that she was complaining about her losses to the monsters that lives in this bunker, while her people had not even lost a tenth of what Lexa had lost.

“Don’t relativize.” Lexa warned as if she could read her spiraling thoughts. “Your losses are yours, and mine are my own.”

“Lexa, you… you lost so many and saved none of your people.” The brunette shook her head.

“Over the past fifty years, we lost thousands, maybe even ten thousand, to the _maunon._ This was an investment paid in lives.” Lexa’s voice started out resolutely, but became smaller by the end. “I had hope. Hope that I could save those and return them to their families. Instead, I will have to take what I have now, no more fear of Reapers and no longer losing people to these cannibals.”

Clarke nodded at the fearsome warrior and went to her side. She took the girl's arm that leant on the staff and wrapped it securely around her shoulders. When the Commander protested, Clarke shook her head. After a brief hesitation, the brunette spoke. “Thank you.”

“Picking up habits from my people already, _commander?_ ” Clarke snarked and Lexa let out a dry chuckle, letting her walls drop for just a moment. She felt Lexa sag against her and briefly overestimated her own stamina as they both stumbled. Clarke recovered and steadied herself with the help of the wall, leaving a bloody handprint behind on the concrete surface. As a single unit, they moved through the sea of dead bodies towards the living.

 

“Don’t worry mom, it’s not my blood.” Clarke said as her mother finally noticed her presence amongst the other wounded and rescued Arkers. She had been silently sitting there, watching her mother work, too exhausted to do much else. When the doctor and current chancellor saw her daughter, she rushed over and crushed her in a hug.

“Oh Clarke.” Her mother sniffled. “I was so… so worried you’d-”

“I’m okay mom, really.” She wasn’t, not really, but none of her wounds were physical. “Go save them. I’ll be… I’ll be fine.”

Her mother left, but Bellamy took her place, together with Octavia. “Clarke.”

That was all she needed to rush forward and hug him fiercely. “I’m glad you’re alive. You did good, Bell.”

She saw in his eyes that he thought differently. “I- I lost a lot of our own, I couldn’t get there on time and the delay cost us.”

“You saved thirty.” She echoed Lexa’s words, even though she did not believe them herself. She wondered if Lexa felt the same when she uttered them to her, when she reconciled the sacrifice she’d made with what they had achieved.

Octavia was silent throughout the exchange, and Clarke saw her glance at the bed containing a certain grounder clan chief. Indra had been shot multiple times when leading the charge through the tunnels. Clarke had heard of her heroism that enabled the team in the tunnels to enter the Mountain, opening up a second avenue of attack and saving tons of lives because the enemy had to split their forces. Indra was currently stable, but stable just meant that she was not getting worse. Octavia’s mentor had a long battle ahead of her.

“I expected you to be more angry.” She told the older of the Blake siblings.

“About Tondc?” She nodded, and then she saw in his eyes that he was angry with her for the decision not to get his sister out of there. “It worked out.” Is all he offered her, and that was enough.

The three of them took a place in a corner of the room and watched as other people milled around. Until exhaustion took them and they fell asleep using each other as pillows.

 

“Clarke! You have to stop _her_!” She was rudely shook awoke. “She’s going- their savage leader- she-”

“Jasper?” Groggily she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Besides her, both Bellamy and Octavia stirred awake as well. Clarke couldn’t tell how much time had passed, only that her mother, Jackson and other grounder healers and people with medical expertise were still treating the wounded. “What is… what is going on?”

An arm was put on the distraught boy from behind. “The Grounders… they are going to execute the survivors of the Mountain.” Monty said.

It should come as a surprise. It came as a surprise to the blonde… that it didn’t. Lexa’s words after killing the wounded soldier repeated in her mind: _prolong his suffering until tomorrow._

“All of them?” The man next to her said. Bellamy had gotten support from those inside the mountain that did not agree with the actions of the leadership.

Jasper was still in shock, Clarke knew that the boy had developed feelings for Maya, and thus she did not expect the answer that Monty gave.

“No. Not those that directly helped you or the others. Or those that never took blood. Or those younger than ten years old.”

Disgusted with herself, Clarke had expected worse, and after Tondc, she had even demanded worse. She had been the one to tell Lexa to _kill them all_ , without any remorse or room for interpretation.

Bellamy looked at her, uncertain of what they should say or do. From the corner of her eye, she saw that her mother also had dropped her work and was moving over towards them. “I… The Mountain men took their people for fifty years.”

It was a flimsy excuse and her mother saw right through it. “Are you seriously condoning genocide? Out of the two hundred survivors, she would kill a hundred and fifty.”

Clarke swallowed heavily. She imagined Lexa standing on top of a pile of bodies as she plunged her sword in another faceless child, finally getting her revenge for all those she and her people had lost to the cruelty of the Mountain. She shook the imagery from her mind’s eye. “I’m not, but it’s not up to us. Like with… like with Finn.”

Her mother shook her head. “We’ve got control over the systems. We have armed guards with us and Lexa’s people are tired and wounded.”

Appalled, Clarke took a step towards her mother. “Are you seriously considering attacking our allies, who spilled blood to save our people, for these monsters?” Clarke hissed the words, keeping her voice low to prevent Lexa’s people from hearing these dangerous words.

“It’s not right, Clarke. The children have done nothing…” Deep down, Clarke could not disagree. Clarke turned to Monty and Jasper.

“When do they start?”

They looked at each other. “It has already started.”

 

Her breathing was heavy when she finally reached the large dining room. The tables at which she had eaten her finest, her only, chocolate cake were moved along the sides of the room. They were filled with grounder warriors solemnly watching the scene play out in front of them. Clarke pushed herself through the wall, followed by her friends, and wished she hadn’t. Jasper and Bellamy immediately emptied their stomach and she could barely contain herself as her body shook and tried to empty its stomach.

A scared crowd was gathered in the center of the room. Guards, scientists, fathers, mothers, and children were bound together and forced to watch the brutal end they would face. On the far side of the room there was a raised podium. The podium had five occupants, but only one was of importance to Clarke.

It did not surprise Clarke who had taken the mantle of executioner upon herself. With grim determination, Lexa brought her sword down on the neck of her victim. It sickened Clarke when she saw the head roll away from the body, into the basket containing more of them. Right after, when her friends retched, Lexa’s green eyes found hers.

In a hurry, as quickly as the crippled Commander could, she hobbled down the platform and limped with the help of a improvised crutch towards her.

“What are you doing here?” Lexa hissed, only speaking to her and ignoring her friends that were still recovering from the gruesome display.

Clarke didn’t really know how to answer that question. She wasn’t there to stop Lexa, because she knew she couldn’t.

“This is inhumane.” Bellamy spoke up instead. It was only then that Lexa noticed that they were not alone. “This is as savage as they are.”

“Each of them has taken the blood of my people. They bled my people while they were alive, treated them as cattle in cages and their end was painful until their last breath.” The Commander reared her voice and Bellamy and her friends shrunk. Only Clarke managed to stand her ground. “We have all the right to treat them the same, but I chose to give them an honorable, quick death. One that they do not deserve.”

Clarke saw through the commander’s shell, and instead could see a different reason. Lexa had taken the task to end their lives upon herself to protect her people from going through that themselves. She had chosen a quick execution, because she could not bare the suffering of so many people.

The Commander may be heartless, but Lexa was not.

“ _Klark,_ come with me.” The warriors made way as Lexa all but dragged her away from the floor, away from the defeated looks of their friends. Once they were alone, the leader turned towards her and spoke softly. “I did not want you to see that. To see what we are capable of. To see what we truly are.”

Clarke stepped close to the Commander, who backed up away from her until she reached a wall and could no longer move away. Fearful eyes watched her carefully. “Clarke, what are you-?”

“Ssh.” Clarke moved to embrace the leader. Backed up, and with no escape, Lexa sank into the embrace. “I know that is not who you truly are. Just tell me, why?”

The grounder leader, not being used to explain herself to outsiders, took her time to find the words. “There are multiple reasons. Retribution, Security, and appeasement. Those responsible truly deserve to die, and leaving them alive builds resentment and they can inflict a lot damage. Finally, I have to convince the Coalition that the sacrifice was worth it and that a price has been paid in blood.”

Clarke shook her head. “Why you?”

Lexa’s mouth was in a tightly pressed line, but her pain could be seen through her eyes. “Killing someone in battle takes a toll on everyone, but is manageable for seasoned warriors. Executing a prisoner, especially a young one, is a heavy weight to shoulder.”  

“Then why kill the children?”

Lexa looked away. “I don’t want to, but I have to. They are old enough to carry resentment for the rest of their lives. None of my people would want to integrate them, understandably, so they will cling on to it. In the past, this has created dangerous rebels and killers.”

Carefully, Clarke touched Lexa’s chin and made her face her. In their proximity, bodies flush against each other, she could see her blue eyes reflected in Lexa’s green ones. She saw the turbulent thoughts, she felt Lexa’s erratic heart rate, and she knew Lexa was not okay with her decision and while Clarke did not truly understand and agree with the reasons put forward, she could not change the current trajectory they were on.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” The Commander repeated back, questioningly.

“I don’t agree.” When Lexa opened her mouth, Clarke interrupted. “I don’t agree with this, but I will support you. On one condition.”

“Which is?”

“In Polis, you will convince me that this is not who you are.” Lexa sharply inhaled as Clarke took back the words she had told the leader once.

“I will.”

 

Her mother was livid. She railed on Clarke for standing by the Commander as she carried out the executions. Whenever Clarke closed her eyes, she saw the blade coming down and she saw the body spasm as the muscles contracted.

“We don’t stand for this, Clarke. You crossed a line.” She didn’t speak back. “She killed all of them, and most of them weren’t guilty. They had no choice, they just did it to survive.”

Bellamy had distanced himself from her, Monty and Jasper were also angry with her. The only one standing close to her and holding her hand was Octavia, the girl who was the most vocal for her dislike for the people of the Mountain, and the only one of them actually integrating with the grounder clans.

“We don’t kill children.”  Her mother finished, and then Octavia lashed out.

“No, we just wait until they are eighteen.” Clarke heard the venom in the younger Blake’s tone. “We are so much better because we lock up children from the age of twelve for minor crimes until they are eighteen, and then we will make a decision on whether to kill them or not. Leaving them in limbo for the remainder of their days.”

“I never…”

“You only spoke out against the laws when it was your own daughter on the line.” A new voice spoke up. Clarke looked over at the nearby hospital bed that was occupied by their wonderful mechanic. Raven had been wounded when she blew up the dam, but she was making a full recovery, minus her crippled leg of course.

“We all agreed on…” Her mother tried, but Raven gave her no room.

“We did not agree, the laws were imposed by our leaders and no one changed them. You sent children with little training and chance of survival to the ground.”

“Most of you…”

“Would be floated anyway? That suddenly makes everything better.” Raven burst in a series of coughs and her and Octavia rushed to help her friend while Abby stood stunned in the middle of the hospital. Clarke administered additional painkillers and Raven relaxed in their hold.

Her mother, defeated, sank in a hospital chair. Clarke moved to stand by her mother. “We justified our harsh laws on the Ark for survival, Lexa - the grounders, they do the same.”

Abby looked at her with tears in her eyes. “Maybe we’re not so different.”

 

Solemnly she stood by Lexa as her warriors packed up their camp and left the Mountain. After the carnage inside the halls, and the history of their people, both the Sky People and the Grounders decided that the Mountain would be stripped from all supplies and then be abandoned. Raven promised to figure out how to blow up the missile stockpile so that no one could use the mass grave it had become.

“What happens now?” She dared to ask the woman next to her, who was seemingly lost in thought.

“My people will mourn their losses and set their spirits free.” Lexa motioned towards the carts carrying hundreds of bodies. “Then in a month’s time, we will celebrate in Polis the defeat of our oldest enemy. _Skaikru_ is invited as a guest of honor and I will show you then who we can be when we are at our best.”

Clarke watched the progression of people as they continued past them. “Can I… can I come with you, right now?”

Lexa’s grip on her crutch faltered for a second and she stumbled. Clarke moved to intercept, but the warrior recovered before falling to the ground. “If that is what you wish.”

Clarke looked back at the green eyes and briefly glanced at Lexa’s lips before returning to look at the green ones. She was not ready, and it would be a while, but feeling the strong presence besides her, she knew that at some point she would be.

They both had tremendous amounts of blood on their hands, their worldviews clashed, and their people could not be more different. Still, Clarke could not deny the feelings that wrapped her heart in a warm embrace whenever she looked in those eyes. Inside those eyes she an end to the loneliness they had experienced, and she saw hope for a future together. This hope was infectious, and Clarke felt herself share that hope. She knew that going to Polis would be the first step to reaching that future, and therefore there was only one answer possible.

“Yes.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oof. It becomes very difficult to like Lexa when she is executing children. Still, I think that this outcome, especially with the losses described in this chapter, would have been somewhat realistic in the Grounder-culture. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought.


End file.
